Yaakov sent messengers to Esav his brother towards the Land of Se’ir, the field of Edom. He instructed them saying: thus says your servant Yaakov: I dwelt with Lavan and I have delayed until now. (BeReishit 32:4-5)
Why did Yaakov need to inform his brother that in the many years of his absence, he had lived with uncle Lavan? After all, he had been sent there by his parents. The range of views expressed in answer to this question is testimony to the ingenuity of the classic commentators, each of whom work with a different nuance in the text:
I dwelt with Lavan - as you knew, by the instruction of my father and my mother, so that he should not think that he ran away because of him. (Rashbam ad. loc.)
The Rashbam assumes that Yaakov wishes to convey the reason, not the fact, of his sojourn with Lavan. The use of the verb ‘lagur’ – to dwell temporarily, is also the focus of Rashi comment:
I didn’t become a leader or an important person, rather a stranger - thus it is not appropriate to hate me for your father’s blessings, with which he blessed me: you will be a supporter of your brother, for it has not been fulfilled in me. (Rashi ad. loc.)
Rashi differs from the Rashbam in that he emphasises the fact that he only stayed with Lavan as a visitor and never amounted to very much there. Chizkuni has a rather different view, one of three that he offers (one is the same as the Rashbam).
(1) I dwelt with Lavan - do not be surprised how everything that I have came to me, for I was with Lavan our uncle. If I had dwelt with another unrelated man, I would have had nothing. (2) Alternatively, I dwelt with Lavan - as you knew, by the instruction of my father and my mother, so that he should not think that he ran away because of him. (3) Alternatively, so that he should have nothing against him for not having greeted him for these 20 years, for he was a hired worker.
The first offering of the Chizkuni is the opposite to that of Rashi – Yaakov was explaining not the fact that he was poor, but that he was successful!
Finally, the Midrashic explanation of Rashi, which has become the most well-known comment on the verse, reads the word ‘garti’ (I dwelled) as an anagram:
Alternatively, ‘garti’ is 613 in numerical value, to say that I lived with Lavan the wicked one, and I observed the 613 Mitzvot, for I did not learn from his evil ways. (Rashi ad. loc.)
In other words, Yaakov challenged Esav by reminding him that he was not a ‘push over’; after all, he has survived many years with Uncle Lavan.